Navigating complex mental health episodes often feels like watching an entire season of Forensic Files. It’s chaotic, intense, and at times, difficult to follow. That is the best way I can describe the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Rationally, I always find my way through and manage to dust myself off. But mentally, it often feels like the aftermath of a storm, like looking over a neighborhood after a twister has passed through. I ask myself, Did I just wreck everything around me? Sometimes it feels like emotional first responders should be standing by, ready to carry people out after I have spiraled into negative self-talk.
I am writing this as a way to process. I recently came through a particularly rough three-day stretch and for the first time in a while, I can breathe again. Sunshine helps. So does a footlong BMT from Subway. Certainly simple, but effective.
This morning, after returning from a client appointment, I made the choice to spend 20 minutes jogging on the treadmill. It was a small but powerful act of self-care. Tonight, I will likely lift some weights and unwind with a few video games, anything to keep the positive momentum going. I truly believe self-love should be our first priority, our default setting, before we engage with the world around us. And that is coming from someone who has never had a quiet mouth. Guilty as charged.
On a side note, I have been reflecting on the recent flood of AI-generated content. Personally, I use AI to assist with grammar correction, HTML formatting, and occasional creative tasks like generating images or ideas. While I see the value, I also believe it is vital to safeguard human creativity. Prompt engineering has its place, but originality still reigns. I welcome the evolution of AI in music, but when people claim ownership over something a machine created, that is where I draw the line. Disclaimers matter. Transparency matters.
I realize I have gone off on a bit of a tangent, but journaling helps me organize my thoughts, and today, it felt worth sharing. As Denzel Washington once said, “In order to know where you’re going, you have to fail. Fail forward.”
Tony Gebhard 