It’s a thief of joy. It comes when least expected. You’re caged, concealed, silenced, and ultimately shunned from within your own mind’s eye.
Commonly irrational, commonly a misunderstanding, miscommunication, disturbed reality, and broken pieces.
So, what then?
No fuckin clue. I write this with some distortion in my view, but, it’s a bit more translucent compared to yesterday.
Why am I deciding to post about it? I guess, an avenue to express myself without imploding? Yeah. That seems the most logical.
No AI filters involved with any of this… Just a raw display, unfiltered thoughts, no restraints, just a bit of openness to breathe life into a few trapped pieces of me.
I generally depart when the evil moves in to hurt me. I don’t wish to ever get excess gasoline onto those I love the most. My partner has such love and patience when I go through these seasonal episodes. Thank Christ they are brief.
If anything, I am such a better man with him by my side. He’s taught me to love myself in new ways I never knew were possible. I just did not have that chance.
It’s a bit after 6 in the morning. Woke up early. Around 3. Had coffee. Played Hearthstone to gear the mind up for today’s hectic schedule. Love my job. No complaints. Norris, my guide-dog, has his spa session today. That makes me happy to see him fresh, clean, and ready to engage life!
I may do the same thing this coming weekend. Do the nails, the hair, get a massage, the works. Sometimes ya gotta wiggle the middle finger and love the ever crap out of yourself.
I’ll end it there. Hope you are having a better week than I. Wish you love, peace, and grace.
Stay groovy.
Tony Gebhard 