Tony Gebhard

The truth is, no one is obligated to like me, love me, or even understand me. I don’t need constant attention or validation to know my worth. However, if you choose to call yourself my friend, there comes a reasonable expectation that you’ll care—genuinely care—about me as a person and about the work I dedicate myself to. Friendship, at its core, is not measured by words but by consistency, integrity, and compassion.
When someone dismisses my feelings or acts surprised that I’m hurt by their behavior, it tells me more about their capacity for empathy than it does about my reaction. We all have limits, and mine involve honesty, respect, and maturity. I will not create space for deception, gossip, or performative loyalty. I’ve learned that protecting my mental health sometimes means letting go of people who repeatedly undermine peace and sincerity. I’ve done it before, and if necessary, I will do it again—without regret, and with a clear conscience.
Establishing boundaries is not about resentment; it’s about emotional survival. It’s about honoring the self that has worked hard to heal and refusing to reopen wounds for the sake of appearances. Healthy relationships—friendships included—require mutual care, accountability, and the willingness to listen without ego. Those who can’t meet that standard are not villains; they’re simply not my people.
To anyone struggling with similar experiences, please remember: choosing peace does not make you cold, and standing up for your emotional well-being does not make you dramatic. Your mental health is worth protecting. Seek support, whether that means confiding in a trusted friend, counselor, or therapist. You deserve relationships that nourish your spirit, not those that drain it.
If you ever feel overwhelmed or alone in the process, reach out—to someone who listens, or to professional help such as the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.), available 24/7. Healing begins with choosing yourself, and that’s something worth fighting for every single day.